Chookah

Typically not a good sign...

When a conversation over lunch begins with, "Since HR isn't here..."

The interaction went something like this:

[man] "would you dance on that table and screech like a dinosaur [he illustrates by braying a horribly obnoxious sucking/screeching sound] if I gave you $100?"

[woman] "Sure."

[man] "Would you bite the head off of a scorpion for $10,000?"

[woman] "Only if the stinger were removed."

[man] Adds qualifier, "You have to hold the claws out like this [stretches imaginary scorpions claws out into a horizontal line] and gnaw that bastard's head right off."

[woman] "Now we're requiring tax free payment... Yes, I would."

[man] "Would you eat the corn out of your own shit for $1 million dollars?"

How it escalated that quickly I'm not sure but I won't finish the conversation and let you draw your own conclusions.

The Koozie

Would you trust this man?

The lovely Mr. Jason. He brings his own beer koozie with him wherever he goes.  Tucked neatly in the waistband of his pants.

I'm just glad he's sporting this lovely Scandahoovian sweater and not a mullet.

Antelope Island

It's a beautiful, but slightly chilly day and I MUST GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!!!   

Leave it to the "transplant" to suggest we all go to Antelope Island for a little fresh air.  The smell of rotting brine shrimp doesn't quite qualify as "fresh air", however.  Thank God it didn't follow us to the actual island.  Would have been a quick trip otherwise.

Antelope, Bison, dumbass tourists getting within 10 yards of a hairy beast who's temper is known for being short, Lasso's on the Ranch... Antelope island is a pretty desolate place but it was a great afternoon and SOOOO nice to get out of the house.  If you're interested in getting oriented Salt Lake City is actually in the dusky murk behind Sebastian and Antelope island is in the middle of ye Great Salt Lake.

Check it out.

How not to impress me

When submitting a resume for a position, don't list your Mormon two-year Mission as work experience.  I have no doubt that you busted your ass and developed some very valuable life skills which will help you in both your professional and personal life. 

But this two-year spiritual stint is not "work". 

You will not get brownie points from me by listing it as work experience.  I will, in fact, look at your resume with more scrutiny and ask you to prove the work experience that you do have. Your interview will increase in intensity considerably.

If you insist on listing your Mission on your resume, place it in a more appropriate area: Volunteer work.