Chookah

Why Dell can bite me.

I have a problem with my "Integrated Bluetooth Module" in my new PC, it won't connect with my headset so I can make calls using Skype.  I'm only mildly incompetent when it comes to computers so I try a few troubleshooting ideas and search some boards for ideas, none of which work.

Enter the debacle:

• Think, "hmm, let's try re-installing the driver or looking for an update."
• I have to search all over the box to find the minuscule service tag number before I can access the support site. 
• Can't find the driver I'm looking for.
• Initiate a chat session and have to re-enter the service tag number (of course, I experience significant eye strain trying to read it again).
• I chat with "Barjinder_158463" in India and explain my dilemma.
• He asks *again* what my problem is and I spend another 4 minutes explaining the problem.
• He tells me that I don't have an "Integrated Bluetooth Module" installed on my machine and sends a link to the system specifications.
• I point out to him that, yes, I do have an "Integrated Bluetooth Module" installed in my machine.
• "Please show me which line says that your computer has bluetooth?" - OMG are you kidding?  Did he just ask me to read for him?
• I copy and paste the line from the system specifications "assembly...flash storage device..., universal serial bus..., reader..., BLUETOOTH..., half height..." 
• Barjinder_158463 says "if you need to connect to any device through it we need the drivers."
• No shit.  Why do you think I've spent this much time trying to find them??
• He continues, "Sunny, I would like to use the Dell Connect tool to take control of your system.  You will see everything I do as I do it.  I will have full control during this mode.  Would that be fine with you?"
• My response, "Yeah, dude, given that you couldn't even determine if I had bluetooth to begin with, I don't think that's going to happen. You've shown a level of incompetence [can't read] which makes me nervous.  You are NOT taking full control of my computer. Just give me the link to the driver."
• I wait 5 minutes and get the link to the driver.
• The driver doesn't solve the problem.
• 32 minutes and 25 seconds down the drain in this ridiculous chat session with a man who can't read.

Dell, I like my machine.  After I threw another 2GB of after-market RAM in it, it rocks, in fact. But because of your incompetent customer support I say this with all the love I can muster:

BITE ME.

 

Big, Big Trouble

There are three levels of discipline in the house:

1. The Talk (punishment enough, right?  Who likes a lecture?)
2. Time Out
3. Big, Big Trouble

Big, Big Trouble is reserved for the most serious offenses: a combination of biting, hitting, kicking, screaming/yelling, spitting, throwing things, hitting doors or walls, you get the idea.

Sebastian is in Big, Big Trouble tonight.  He bit and pushed his friend (his friend made sure to tell me exactly what happened), tried to bite his teacher, had a complete histrionic meltdown in the car and was screaming about something (I tuned him out and wouldn't respond so I don't even remember what it was about), picked up a toy from the back of the car and hit me with it while I was driving (again, I didn't respond though I was seething inside) and when that didn't get a response, he did it again.

When we got home I didn't say a word.  I left everything in the car, took him by the arm and marched him into his room, told him briefly in that low, flat, I'm-so-pissed-I'm-beyond-yelling voice that he was in Big, Big Trouble for biting, yelling and hitting and closed the door behind me. *Thunk*! *Thunk*! He picked up toys and launched them at the closed door.

I took a lap around the kitchen and living room and then moved Sebastian to his bathroom - if he's in Big, Big Trouble he shouldn't have access to fun things to destroy. After about 10 minutes he calmly asked me if he could come out and promised he would be good.  No problem.  Everyone needs to hit the "reset" button every now and then.

Enter battle royale #2 . The known consequences for Big, Big Trouble.  No TV, no friends, no play-dough, no Transformers, no stories before bed or snuggling... just companionship and books.  Yeeeah... that didn't go over so well.  The battle ranged from eating dinner, washing hands, washing face, brushing teeth, putting on PJ's and (shock!) going to bed.

I'm lucky that nights like this are few and far between because tonight, duct tape seems like a viable parenting tool.

Fire Drills

A friend sent me a CNN video about children and smoke alarms.

Results from a Columbus Children's Hospital study using 6-12 year old subjects:

• 40% of children did not awaken to the tone alarm (using an alarm 4x louder than your standard home alarm). (what!!!)
• 96% of children awoke to the alarms that used their mothers' voices which told them to wake up and leave the room.
• 83% of children were able to escape from the room in time when awakened by the parent-voice alarm.
• Most childhood deaths in home fires are attributed to smoke inhalation.

I checked this product out on Amazon and read the three reviews associated with it.  This is one of my favorite quotes (from a reviewer who gave the product 3 out of 5 stars):

"I was sickened to say the least to find out that none of our three children, ages 8, 6 and 3 woke up during a fire drill to the traditional alarm even though we let it beep for 2 full minutes... I love the concept, however, when we did another fire drill using the vocal smoke alarm, again none of our children woke up.  Maybe [an alarm] that sounds like a bag of chips being opened, because for some reason they will wake up to that, but not to extremely loud beeping or this particular vocal alarm."

You gotta love and respect the honest review from a proud parent.

On a more serious note: I'm doing a fire drill with Sebastian tonight.... wait... tomorrow night.  That way his teachers won't suffer for the sake of safety.  I'll keep you posted on the results.

Superheroes

Ah.. so begins the season for inducing diabetic comas.  Yes, it's Halloween.

Sebastian wanted to be Spiderman for Halloween and I convinced him that every other little boy would want to be Spiderman and a different costume would be a better idea.  We settled on a spider costume but he added a caveat; the spider had to be the spider who bit Peter Parker and created the cultural phenom.

All righty. I bought the fabric, designed the costume (complete with officially ripped-off Spiderman emblem on the chest) and began work.

Then the notice came down at school.

Sebastian's school typically has a Halloween festival for the kids and parents, complete with vast quantities of games, social interaction, parents snapping photos and, of course, candy.  The festival is usually held the week of Halloween in the late afternoon.  Not this year.  The festival was held at night a full two-weeks before Halloween.  Normally I wouldn't have an issue with this but given the shortened timeline, the plans for the spider costume had to be abandoned.

"Sebastian, if you couldn't be a spider, what would you like to be?" "A spider."  Uh, oh. Enter copious amounts of whining.

The night of the festival, I rushed to get Sebastian and made a mad dash for Kmart.  All of the costumes there were "too scary".  Feeling the time crunch we traveled to ShopKo and found a costume Sebastian was stoked to wear.

Old school Wolverine. 

(You go, boy!)

Shortly after this picture was taken the three superheroes decided to mosey into their classroom and proceeded to have the ultimate padded costume superhero throw-down.  We parents, kicked back, watched the expenditure of sugar-induced enthusiasm and snacked on their candy.  Too bad they weren't serving margaritas.

Update: Monday afternoon, Sebastian and the other members of the toddler WWE continued the ultimate battle for superhero supremacy, sans padding.  There were bruises, hurt feelings and teacher angst.  Oops.

The Pro

Sebastian is sporting a new 'do, courtesy of Tia Tasha.  It's his first professional haircut and it ROCKS!  No more "Lloyd Christmas" haircuts.

Muchas gracias, Tia!

Cabities

Brushing teeth in our house hasn't been a struggle and for that I'm thankful.  Sebastian understands that he needs to brush his teeth so he doesn't get cavities. ("Sebastian, why do we brush our teeth?" He looks, pauses and says, "So we don't get cabities!" "That's right.  Do you know what cavities are?" "Cabities are owies on teeth.")

Last December Sebastian and I went to the dentist.  He for his first visit, me for a cleaning.  During this visit I was informed that I had two cavities and on the way out the door I informed Sebastian that I had two cavities and had to come back later to have them fixed.  He looked at me and immediately raised his hand and pointed back at the dentist's office.  No words were needed.

It's now, oh... October 16th and I went back for a cleaning today.  I love my dentist, he's young, funny and plays movies (with captions on) from screens installed in the ceiling so you don't have to continually listen to the hygienist scrape and complain that you need to floss more.  He did his post-scrape and poke inspection and said in a very matter-of-fact way, "It looks like this cavity *here* and *here* haven't healed. Humm.."  Nice way of telling me that I'm a complete slacker and in denial about the acquisition of my FIRST cavities. "I'm capable of fixing small or large cavities."  All right already, can you fix them now?

I had them filled today.

I, Sunny, now accept the fact that I am not impervious to dental decay.