Getting Existential on Y'all

How many of us get a fresh start in life?  It's a great opportunity filled with promise and nearly infinite options.

Problem is, there are a lot of options.

Options "A", "B" are attractive. Option "C" is even more so. Do I go for broke and jump at "D"?  What the hell is "D" anyway?

My mind is a swirling vortex of options and opportunities and this creates a thrashing mentality in me.  Because I got the histrionic over-achiever gene, I try to do everything all at the same time.  The spiral continues when I look at what I've done and feel crappy because I didn't get anything substantial done and the stuff I did get done was done in a half-assed kind of way and looks like shit.

I just need to focus on one, grab on and go!  But then...

Will "A" give me the satisfaction of a job well done?  Will "B" support my thirst for learning? What about "C", "D" and "E"? Do I even care about "E" anymore? Good Lord, I'm not in a state to pick any of them, but how do I get to that state?

Yep, I've spent many a night staring at the ceiling wishing for a magic wand and/or winning Lotto ticket.

Comments

[Matt]

"The spiral continues when I look at what I've done and feel crappy because I didn't get anything substantial done and the stuff I did get done was done in a half-assed kind of way and looks like shit."

We are all our own worst critics. From what I've seen of your life, it's very substantial and none of it looks like shit. The deck? Amazing. Not half assed at all.