I Now Have a Phobia
A phobia of needles. (Warning: if you have a needle or blood phobia don't read any further)
I've had a lot of blood drawn for various reasons. Small needles, big butterfly needles, standard run of the mill needles, small finger prick, one vial of blood, four vials of blood, etc.
Each time I rate the lab tech on a scale from 1-10, with 1 being the worst and 10 the best.
I had blood drawn this week. Usually it's not a big deal, sit down, tourniquet, prick, cotton ball and medical tape, out the door in less than 5 minutes. If the tech is especially adept it's less than 2 minutes, I don't feel a thing except a little pressure from her fingers and the tape/cotton ball contraption is super easy to pull off. Whoo hoo!
This week was not to be one of those ideal experiences.
20 minutes waiting in the lab, another 10 minutes in the chair while the tech got her shit together and labeled the vials, had to re-label the vials because she grabbed the wrong ones, on and on...
She puts the tourniquet on and I assume the position, elbow on the counter, slightly straight arm, clenched fist. She came at me with the needle and I mentally pulled out the rating scale She stuck me and missed, stuck me again and missed, stuck me a third time and missed.
(It's at this point in the story that I need to remind you that a) I'm a red head b) I'm Scandahoovian, and c) because of "a" and "b" my veins are really hard to miss. They're like interstates on a map, they're so obvious.)
Just as she's about to stick me a fourth time, I give her the look of death, the look that says, "lady if you fuck this up one more time not only am I going to swear at you but I'm going to grab the needle and do it myself!" She sticks me one more time, misses and keeps fishing around in my arm for the vein!!! "The vein keeps rolling around," she explains.
"FUUUCCCKK!" Comes out of my mouth in a less than amused and quiet tone while my back arches and my body tenses. "Do you need help?!" I ask. She shoots me a dirty look and FINALLY hits the vein. What a bitch.
There's a new rating on my rockin lab tech scale, 0. As in, "have a nice day you sadistic bitch".
