Decorating

I went in to Restoration Hardware this week expecting to find the standard eclectic hardware, nice curtains, picture frames, cool gardening items, hard to find cleaning supplies, super-strong magnets at the cash wrap, great bath items and little chotchka toys from the 50’s and 60’s.  A fun store. 

I walk in and am immediately assaulted by a sales girl who was *all* up in my face, “Hi, what can I HELP you with?” As if she expected me to point to a $4,000 sleigh-bed and casually tell her to wrap three or four of them up. Me: “Um, nothing, I’m just going to look around.”  I shoot her a dirty look and bee-line for one side of the store.

As I made a loop around and through the store my disappointment grew. The company has done a complete renovation and transformation. The once inviting store is now cold, sterile and I didn’t want to touch a single item, let alone fork over my hard-earned cash for it. Their already high prices have gotten higher. Their sales people are pushy and judgmental. The store is completely unwelcoming. It wasn’t the experience I expected at all.

I walked across the cobblestone street and wound up in Pottery Barn. A completely different experience. The store is warm and inviting and they have items that would have value and meaning in my home (if the prices were about 50% lower). Sure, their employees are snotty and could care less that I needed help or had a question (especially when Jose is having problems with his boyfriend, Charley), but that’s Pottery Barn. I expect that from them.

The more I think about decorating my house the more I’m realizing that Target and Ikea are right up my alley… I’m cheap, I’m eclectic in my tastes, completely without a vision of what I want my home to look and feel like and did I mention that I’m cheap?

This leads me to Ikea. The great warehouse of the cheap decorating Gods. The great store that doesn’t have a presence in Utah, doesn’t sell/ship anything that’s not in the current catalog (though you can certainly try to buy it online), only sells 50% of the catalog items online and has the single most FUCKED up e-commerce channel I’ve ever encountered. (and did I mention that because they don’t have a store within 50 miles, they won’t even send me a catalog?) Nice.

I would, literally, spend thousands and thousands (THOUSANDS!) of dollars in a single visit or through their website if they were more organized and more receptive to me as a customer. Instead I’m left to wonder if the items I’m ordering online are a) actually available b) won’t have shipping charges greater than the sum of all the items in the order and c) if I’ll ever get the email from Ikea telling me about a & b (because, you can’t just order online, you have to WAIT 4-5 days for some rep at Ikea to get off their asses and tell me if it’s okay for me to give them my money.

Maybe my house is better bland with only crayon art decorating the lower 3’ section of the walls.