Chookah

Single-handedly, the most dorked up...

children's book ever written.

Ready?

It's "Fox in Socks" by Dr. Seuss.

Guaranteed to make you pull your hair out while your child looks at you with a blank stare bigger than when you try to explain online social networking to your elderly grandmother.

Here's a sample: "Here's an easy game to play.  Here's an easy thing to say [right.  Get ready cause here we go]... New socks. Two socks. [Not too bad thus far, kind of reminiscent of One Fish, Two Fish] Whose socks? Sue's socks. Who sews whose socks? [huh?] Sue sews Sue's socks. Who sees who sew whose new socks, sir?  You see Sue sew Sue's new socks, sir." [WTF just happened here?  I got lost.]

I've read many a book in my day, some which people universally find confusing.  Books like Virginia Woolf's "To the Lighthouse" which deals heavily in stream of consciousness writing and very ambiguous transitioning from one character to the other.  Never in my life have I read a book that twisted my tongue so badly.

I think this one might make it to the yard sale pile.  I can't afford the Prozac needed to cope with the frustration and the disappointment of the 4-year old blank stare.

Kickball

This is what happens when you have a hard day at work and then think that playing kickball in the house with your 4 year old is a good idea.

Yeah.... Never a good idea.

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Look in the dictionary...

and this is what you'll find under "Sunny Hunt":

"Alpha Moms are educated [don't you mean "were"?  I seem to have dropped a few thousand brain cells during this parenting journey], tech-savvy [I know how to install RAM in a computer, does that count?], Type A moms [shouldn't some kind of punctuation exist in that last part?  I swear, it's screaming for a comma or a semi-colon] with a common goal: mommy excellence [or lessening the need for therapy for both parent and child]. She is a multitasker [scanning documents, reading a book, chatting and blogging...yep, still listening to ya...]. She is kidcentric [the Legos and cracker crumbs in my car are proof of that one].  She is hands-on [here, Sebastian, hold this hammer while I shinny up the ladder to the roof...].  She may or may not work outside the home, but at home, she views motherhood as a job that can be mastered with diligent research [obsessive reading of mommy blogs count, right?]." --Constance Van Flandern.

To the guy...

Big shout out and "thank you," to the guy who very graciously gave up his parking spot to me in an uber-crowded Trolley Square parking lot. Thanks, man.

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Rain

It rained yesterday!!!

This means I get a one-week reprieve on the annual Sprinkler Battle Royale!

I've grown to detest the blue goo used to stick pieces of PVC together because I'm picking it off my hands for days at a stretch and the multiple trips to Ace Hardware or Lowe's for the ONE $0.39 3/4" connector I need.

Previous battles:

• Adding another item to my resume
• An Ode to Sprinklers

What I wake up to every morning.

Food?!?!? Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Commitment

I'm making a commitment.

Every day for the rest of the month I will make a blog post.  It may not be a big one, it may only be one line or a simple quote, but by god.... there will be posting!

(kinda lame excuse: writer's block and the thought of spending any more time in front of my computer than I have to is unappealing).

Typically not a good sign...

When a conversation over lunch begins with, "Since HR isn't here..."

The interaction went something like this:

[man] "would you dance on that table and screech like a dinosaur [he illustrates by braying a horribly obnoxious sucking/screeching sound] if I gave you $100?"

[woman] "Sure."

[man] "Would you bite the head off of a scorpion for $10,000?"

[woman] "Only if the stinger were removed."

[man] Adds qualifier, "You have to hold the claws out like this [stretches imaginary scorpions claws out into a horizontal line] and gnaw that bastard's head right off."

[woman] "Now we're requiring tax free payment... Yes, I would."

[man] "Would you eat the corn out of your own shit for $1 million dollars?"

How it escalated that quickly I'm not sure but I won't finish the conversation and let you draw your own conclusions.

The Koozie

Would you trust this man?

The lovely Mr. Jason. He brings his own beer koozie with him wherever he goes.  Tucked neatly in the waistband of his pants.

I'm just glad he's sporting this lovely Scandahoovian sweater and not a mullet.

Antelope Island

It's a beautiful, but slightly chilly day and I MUST GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!!!   

Leave it to the "transplant" to suggest we all go to Antelope Island for a little fresh air.  The smell of rotting brine shrimp doesn't quite qualify as "fresh air", however.  Thank God it didn't follow us to the actual island.  Would have been a quick trip otherwise.

Antelope, Bison, dumbass tourists getting within 10 yards of a hairy beast who's temper is known for being short, Lasso's on the Ranch... Antelope island is a pretty desolate place but it was a great afternoon and SOOOO nice to get out of the house.  If you're interested in getting oriented Salt Lake City is actually in the dusky murk behind Sebastian and Antelope island is in the middle of ye Great Salt Lake.

Check it out.